Almost Spoiler-free Summary of Cap 2

Steve: Let's be friends
Nat: No. *vaguely alludes to tragic backstory*
Steve: *jumps off stuff*
Steve: Let's be friends
Fury: Hell no. *vaguely alludes to tragic backstory*
Steve: *jumps off stuff*
Steve: We're friends
Bucky: *doesn't remember tragic backstory*
Steve: *jumps off stuff*
Steve: Let's be friends
Sam: HELL YEAH
Steve: *jumps off stuff with Sam*

(Source: jennnamarbles)

hobbitofthemotherfuckinshire:

If Game of Thrones has taught me anything it’s Kings are fucking weak and don’t mess with a Queen

afadingoctober:

balancingtheledger:

jaredsadalecki:

why is no one talking about this

'Black Widow' is listed for 2015 on Scarlett Johansson's IMDB page.

afadingoctober:

balancingtheledger:

jaredsadalecki:

why is no one talking about this

'Black Widow' is listed for 2015 on Scarlett Johansson's IMDB page.

(Source: ludknope)

“One: Buy condoms. Buy them and keep them with you at all times, and use them before you are asked to use them. And use them every time. The peace of mind you allow your partner will free her to be vulnerable with you, and that, my son, is exactly what sex is about. Condoms are sexy. In fact, call buying condoms foreplay.
(Footnote: If you are too embarrassed to buy condoms, you are not ready to have sex.)

Two: Kissing is not merely foreplay. Spend entire evenings making out on the couch while fully clothed. Believe me, dry-humping rocks.

Three: Sex is not just about friction. It’s about emotion. Stop trying to find her clitoris and find her heart. Because then she’ll help you find her clitoris.

Four: If you really wanna know how to please a woman, ask her how she masturbates. Then do that. A lot. If she claims she doesn’t masturbate, offer to take her shopping for a vibrator so you can both learn the vocabulary of her body together.

Five: Don’t put anything in her butthole you wouldn’t want in your own.
(Footnote: Try a pinky finger, it’s kinda awesome.)

Six: When you go down on her—and you will go down on her, and if you are my son, you will be amazing at it—tell her how good she tastes. Stop in the middle and kiss her deeply so she knows how good she tastes. Do the same when she goes down on you.

Seven: A simple Google search will yield 1,327 euphemisms for male masturbation, yet only 23 for female masturbation. If guys spent less time jacking off and more time jilling off, this world would be a happier place.

Eight: Everything you need to know about the importance of the clitoris is in the movie Star Wars. You are Luke Skywalker piloting your penis-shaped X-Wing Fighter deep inside her trench. Remember: seventy percent of all Death Stars cannot be blown up through penetration of the trench alone. It must be through focused contact with that little exhaust port at the top of the trench. Otherwise, any explosions you experience will be merely Hollywood special effects.

Nine: Just because you come doesn’t mean she has, so don’t you dare come before her. Focus completely on your partner. Don’t worry about gettin’ yours, you’re a guy. You always get yours. Your job is to make sure she’s gettin’ hers.

Ten: If sex with your partner lasts no longer than this poem, you are not making love. You are masturbating with her body instead of your hand. Shame on you. Go back to step one. You’ve got a lot of learning to do.
Love, Dad.”

-

Big Poppa E., “How To Make Love”  (via kanyequeen)

Holy fuck. THIS IS SO IMPORTANT

(via strangevibezz)

(Source: internmarlee)

basedgosh:

basedgosh:

note to self: “love yourself” does not mean spend $40 on chinese food when you’re broke

who am i kidding yes it does. never listen to me

Love is sacrifice…

(Source: gentlesleaze)

deeeeaaan:

Game of Thrones Wedding Cake

oh yeah lets just have a game of thrones themed wedding

what can possibly go wrong?

pastelmorgue:

cottoncandy-dreams:


Ah Jason, he is a total legend. Yes, our first ever meeting in the lobby of a Belfast hotel did start by him rugby tackling me to the floor yelling “WIFEY!!”
- Emilia Clarke


I AM SO BEYOND FUCKING DONE

pastelmorgue:

cottoncandy-dreams:

Ah Jason, he is a total legend. Yes, our first ever meeting in the lobby of a Belfast hotel did start by him rugby tackling me to the floor yelling “WIFEY!!”

- Emilia Clarke

I AM SO BEYOND FUCKING DONE

“FINALLY”

- Game of Thrones fans everywhere (via gnumblr)

theghostoflove
CREDIT